Cringing Cult of Celebrity in Whitehaven, Cumbria*

Famous residents and ex-residents.

You can tell us more about Whitehaven.

• DEREK BIRD ..FUCKING LEGEND ...
• nickett the child molester famous on utube ,,dead eh lmao
• any 1 from woodhouse coz they all take it up the ass the muppets haha
• derek bird
• kells rugby team aka wankers ,who call woodhouse lads but do the same things and get away with it because they suck off the odd copper or magistrate,mainly darren wilson
• I SEEN LOTS OF LOCAL LOONIES ON MY SHORT STAY AND THEY WERE THE BRAINY ONES OR YANS AS THEY SAY
• funny people in theze town very very funni indeed
• funny people in theze town very very funni indeed
• old man crickett
• quite a few of them too many too mention
• fat slags off hensingham giving me vd you slag
• this town is full of inbreeds and they love their jam by god they live and eat jam haha
• dawson we love you
• the gobshites off richmond
• the greenbank glue sniffers famous for it and all the jam they eat
• whitehaven famous for smack dealing women beating meths who have no life and think they are hard grow up you little muppets coz we all know you are proper shitbags and ya stink
• seen some right freaks walking round the town centre and that was just the women .
• nickett the walking abortion
• steve off kells plays rugby for kells loves to touch ya up in the showers after a match they love it on kells
• maggot local idiot ..dave the rave ..
• that scruffy cunt from mirehouse always walking about pissed thinking he hard but he just a muppet and gobshite with no clue about life simon
• that weird cunt who talks to himself on the bus dave i think hs name is haha and that lunatic nickett what a sad life he must have looking like he does haha
• simple cunt who burned down pigeon huts on mirehouse goes by name of simple simon
• nickett the crack head look him up on utube real life inbred cumbrian
• danny the funny looking bloke off mirehouse very strange indeed
• manny total legend
• that bloke in the park who chases ya with his brush haha
• nickett the hillbilly hills have eyes lookalike
• penfold towers hails from summergrove lock ya wheel nuts coz he as a fetish for wheels .
• minty muffman the town centre weirdo and lenny his side kick both raving alcoholics and totally retarded ...seeems to be the norm in this weird cumbrian town and who says windscale is safe lol clearly judgeing by these locals its very unsafe lol.never felt safe when driving round this town it was like being in that film the hills have eyes .texas chainsaw massacre , do ya get what im saying !!! wont be coming back here again .
• randy andy the bransty gigalo
• dawson strange character swings both ways
• manny of that shit hole called greenbank
• joeboy snakes
• derek bird
• steven scattergood proper bum boy loves itup the bum
• dawson the famous sheep shagger
• nicket the numpty
• tony wardle whitehavens answer to frank gallagher proper minger and idiot can be seen round mirehouse esate perving on all the young girls and makeing a fool of himself keep a wide berth from this waste of space
• joe boy snakes (shnakes are cumming) lenny's taxis are legendory. hike feeding pigeons. jimmy pinkie will never be forgotten and niether will peter howlet
• George Washington's Grandmother!
• one of the members of violinski (seventies one hit wonders) used to live on my road
• Tom Morley and Cory Spedding both live here! Two Junior Eurovision Finalists in a row from the same two!
• Ozzie Osborne, John Beck (It Bites)
• Mr Funk (DJ) resides in Whitehaven
• Brian Higgins - He wrote the Cher song lyrics ( I Believe). Used to live up opposite the Chase Hotel. Now a multi-millionaire in America. That trple jumper - johnathan edwards - parents live at moresby
• Ozzy Osborne went to the Tuns apparently!
• Joe Fussell, the greatest builder in the world! he was working at our school so we just started pestering him, leading up to us all writing books about him (sad i know, but anyone whos had dr stepputat for english will know). its gone so far now he says hi to us, class man... oh not forgetting his pirate mate as well!!!!
• Joe boy snakes is the man, he's a scruffy old fool who talks about baked beans and the titanic being in the harbour, but he's good for a laugh, the smother brothers, man these two are awesome, 2 old scruffs who wander round all day with pipes and not talking to each other (but one does talk to himself!) Robert, well hes a strange old man who walks around muttering "2,2,2,2,2" and he takes up the benches in town every day! Margaret the tiara wearing maniac, shes about 80, 3 ft tall and wears pink cowboy hats or tiaras with balloons attatched to them! Captain Shar, always drunk and basically is just bizarre.
• Black Sabbath guitarist and friend of Sir Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iomi, used to be married to a girl from Parton and Ozzy himself was a regular at the Tow Bar where he would frequent in his brand new white Ferrari and drive home absolutely pissed out of his tits.
• The cider warriors who patrol Bransty of a weekend - watch it, if you go within 10 yards of them they're likely to mug you and throw empty cider bottles at your head.
• Nobody will ever go beyond the weirdness of Joe boy snakes. The man is a legend and would make Freddy Kruger shit in his pants.
• peter howlett, yakker, jo boy snakes, onion head, scabby julie, laddo who dresses like a pornstar (cut off denim shorts, aviators, curly ginger mop etc) even in winter, englebert stumperdink, archie, michael aka hitler aka chaplin the parkkeeper, the wee dwarfy deaf mute guy who used to work in mark taylors bike shop and try and shadow box with you (fixd a mean wheel on a brok bmx, supercop ..lets face it the list is endless ... and you thought royston vasey was stretching thec imagination...
• everyone in haven is basically a legend
• Charley Woods, Ex pro footballer formerly played for Newcastle utd, Watford & Ipswich town, later served as first team coach under Bobby Robson at Ipswich during their most successful period in the 70s was born and raised on Bransty now can be found at Newcastle again serving under Robson
• oliver turned pro, i guess he qualifies.
• ELVIS PRESLEY was born in Whitehaven (a small town called Whitehaven in Tupelo, Mississippi, USA) !! Not a lot of people know that.
• Kiwi Whitehaven Rugby League Players should be deported especially David "i'll hit the bitch, then blame it on racism" Fattymeatloffer and ex-player Whitehaven RL tosser Nigel "not so big now you've come off the roids" White. Both a waste of God's good air!!!!
• Actually guitar virtuoso Francis Dunnery has been living it up in the USA for years having played with the likes of Robert Plant. He continues to record and tour successfully and is a total credit to the area.
• Mr Bean went to school there, WOW. I wouldn't tell anyone.
• Danboy the best Digger Driver in Cumbria.
• Brian Higgins, the guy who wrote Cher's song Believe, comes from Whitehaven.
• That Guy which ALWAYS comes out of the Old Folks homes. When Skating, Tries to make a citezens arrest on you, but fails miserably. Also famous for the legendry moment when he had his knob out.
• The famous BEEPSTER, woody...youll know him he looks like Elvis and likes going in the strand and Paul Jones(PJs) for a crack, omits a beep sound at regular intervals....not to be confused with his double who works in Tesco!!! Also thatMad man who walks round swearing at shop manequins and anybody else... mad as f**k
• captain joynesy will live on in the memory of everyone who ever met him. a legend.
• Check out the Owner of the Jon Paul Jones, who also manages Fusion in Workington. Peter Stringfellow eat your heart out!!!!!!!!
• BIG STAFF THE WHITEHAVEN RUGBY UNION GREAT WHO HAS A SORE SHOLDER AND A SORE FINGER, B***OCKS
• Richard Madeley started his glittering career on Border TV, so he must have set foot in the place once or twice. Rowan Atkinson went to St Bees School, so he probably bunked off here to get pissed. Frank Dunnery, lead singer of international no-hopers It Bites ("Calling All The Heroes" anyone?) lived five miles away in Egremont. And maybe he still does.
• Big Neil Freeman now exiled in Bradford
• Gordon Cottier, Arnold "Boxer" Walker- exGBrugby league internationals.
• John Paul Jones invaded Whitehaven
• George Washingtons Grandma.

Search Knowhere for something else:

Credits

Last updated: 2012-01-21