The Worst Things in Wickford, Essex*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Wickford.

• no fit birds
• what is the wickford massive? 1 comments they sometimes drive to mcdonalds, but nowhere else to go, if ya old enough to drive to mcdonalds why dont ya drive somewhere where there is something for ya to do rather than stay here smashing up the place, its your home and ya should be proud of it and want it to be a nice place so why demolish ya selves i dont understand,
• going out after dark u take ur life into your hands. lots of gangs. only go out in daylight though, and u rarely see them. do they have nothing better to do than LURK for gods sake??
• Losing the 4 charity shops, 2 secondhand shops, also the re-dealer shop in the shopping center (where else could I get a £150 Tudor Mint dragon for the missus for £40.00 ?!
• Watching some of the residents lording it. Why they think their special when they live in a one horse town is beyond me
• fraisers. plasma. food shops late at night. no trains to london late at night.
• the pikies staying till may
• the rude boy content in basildon is about 70% rude 10% "grunger" and 20% old people and babies etc in wickford it is 95% rudeboys 1% "grunger" and 4% stoners
• Chavs in their silly caps and hoodies
• ganfdagfn
• The people on the streets. The rudies. The townies.
• beuchamps school the streets (desperatly need reserfising) the sheepish townies the skatepark that townies declare as there own somerfields
• So many aggressive youths who have been born from the union of undereducated, underexperienced, and frankly unfit parents. It seems the fashion unfortunately) to drop out of school with an O'level in Woodwork, and get inpregnated by the nearest basball cap wearing retard. I have heard tales that they eat chips every day for dinner in front of the telly, and there parent(s) teach them to swear and smoke cheap-brand cigarettes at the tender age of 9. Hmm - just what this country needs more of!!
• all the little pricks that think they can come to our town nd rep the only thing u gonna rep is pussys that think they bad that get beaten hard
• you gothic cunt!!!!
• The A132 into it
• Quote: "U giv us sumic 2 do den we're fuck off but until then ur gonna hav 2 put up wiv us. k? " Clearly you have forgotten that whenever our tax money is spent on giving you pathetic little nobodies something else to do, your first and only action is to vandalise it. Perhaps you'd like to start sticking your own money into these projects then you can p*ss it up the wall as much as you like. oops, forgot, you only get what your teenage mum's benefits can get you and whatever else you can mug from some poor old lady. Or maybe we could arrange for you to take classes in TOLERANCE (sorry, long word, I'll explain - it means "WHEN SOMEBODY DOES NOT DRESS LIKE YOU, SO WHAT? GET OVER IT")
• It is sooo small town! If the police get called then the whole town come to see what all the fuss is about! It is a dead town and consists on teenages trying to act all cool until they get frd up and go home to their mansions! There are some cool people there though and if your a grunger then avoid coz wickford people arnt used to it!:)
• Who owns Wickford? The Wickford Massive or the "grown ups"? Lemme think for a second...
• the GCSE drop-outs hangin about doin nothin cept looking thick
• saddam didn't add it to his list off eliminations !!!!
• Possibly the worst thing about Ye Olde Wickford is Rectum-dom. If you drive out of town up Runwell road to the Rectum-dom Turnpike and onto the road 'formerly known as the A130'- blink-and-you'll-miss-it, on top of the hill lies the "Tribal Homeland Of All Arseholes". It's a bit like Monkey World, where else can you witness in broad daylight, nudity, mating, fighting - and - the ancient art of Excrement Hurling? Yes, none other than Rectum-don E-State. I have seen it and it's not pretty. I bet that not even that big weird Monolith out of the film 'Space Oddessy 2001' could save this lot from reverse evolution now. Is it something in the water? Who knows? Whatever the case Rectum-don IS too close for comfort. Something (namely total annhialation) should be done about it before the mating season arrives and the Neanderthatls descend en-masse on Wickford, naked and baying. A few words of advice: DON'T GO THERE, EVER.
• All the people bad-mouthing the teenagers, especially the Wickford Massive. Wot is your problem? You tell us 2 fuck off and give every1 sum space but y should we? We do live here! I think its the grown-ups dat think dey own d place. Yeah alrite so we do hang around on street corners and sum people do cause sum trouble but theres nufink else 2 do. U giv us sumic 2 do den we're fuck off but until then ur gonna hav 2 put up wiv us. k?
• "Da Wickford Massive" Not big and not clever. To call them 'guano' would not be doing batshit justice. Or birdshit. Whatever it is.
• Obviously, the "wickford massive" fall in to the category of things that most deserve to meet a grisly and humiliating death. And I am refering to those aged 20-22 years old, surprisingly. Why dont you vile, crusty, pus sucking mutants join the real world? I am more than happy to execute any of you.
• the teenage population
• Big ole red neck attitude.i.e. You have dreads and are therefore going to kidnap there children and sell them for heroin, and go to Aldis and piss in the freezers. Anyone with a spark of originality would do well to leave as soon as they are 16
• Everyone complains about us (Da Wickford Massive) hanging around on the streets. There isn't many places we can go,we sometimes drive 2 Mc Donalds but dats about it!
• walking down wickford high street at 11pm on a friday nite with kids running down the street smashing windows *scary experience i witnessed*
• the stupid traffic management ssystem on the bypass
• Sadly Wickford has a reputation in this part of South Essex for having lots of kiddies who think they're hard and in a real gang,the "Wickford Massive." That is if you count a bunch of 11 year olds hanging round wet parks all night as a gang activity."Look at me,I got a fag...Respect!"

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Last updated: 2008-07-11