The Worst Things in Worthing, West Sussex*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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• I spent six years trapped in Worthing, finally escaped to a proper place, but still have to go back and visit my old man there, which I deeply resent having to do. There's just so much wrong with Worthing and the council either don't notice or don't care. It's been like this for decades. The biggest problem of all is lack of social housing, which means youngsters get trapped in private-sector bedsitterland paying unrealistic rents and remain there for years on end. The only way to escape is either to move to a town with lots of social housing or else get yourself trained as an architect or doctor or solicitor so you can afford to buy a house. Pay rates for people in low-grade jobs are terrible in Worthing, you can work a 45-hour week and still have to claim Housing Benefit to survive. Most of the people in the town aged over 50 are blow-ins who are comfortably off retired folk who fancy living by the sea and who automatically vote Tory, which means Worthing will forever be run by Tory councillors who simply don't understand what a raw deal youngsters get in the town. If you tell a councillor that there's nothing to do in town, they'll tell you there's the Worthing Pavilion, the Connaught Theatre and the Assembly Hall, but the fact is that those venues only ever stage stuff that over-50s would want to see. It's their town, basically. Which means that Worthing's terrible pubs are the only place left for young people to go, unless they fancy a trip to see a really naff movie at the Dome Cinema where the acoustics are so bad you can barely hear what the actors are saying. For years there was talk of building a Multiplex cinema at Teville Gate, but it never happened, because nothing ever does happen in Tory-controlled towns run for the benefit of elderly Tory-voters whose only interests are playing games of bowls and meeting their elderly friends for a cup of tea. It's a disgrace for a town of over 100,000 inhabitants to be run like this. When my old man eventually snuffs it, I'll never set foot in the place again. Take a tip from me and move to a major city in the Midlands or North, where there are lots of jobs and lots of Housing Associations. It's the only way to escape the hell that is life in Sunny Worthing.
• A Conservative place (look at the m.p.s - all conservative, people here are stupid, nasty, bigoted, bad tempered, small minded chippy white Daily Mail/Sun/Telegraph readers who moved out of London to get away from immigrants. People go out of their way to be unfriendly. I've given up trying to be friendly and set my heart on moving out.
• like detroit lots of dicks think of it as a "ghetto", lots of chavs and old people, and i mean LOTS
• Unfriendly people.
• "The Town" A good place to get punched by a white shirt-wearing 30 something, out of his tiny mind on dog worming powder and cheap lager.
• CHAVS!!
• anywhere at night
• Knowing that my parents still live there meaning that I'll need to visit.
• everything shuts early.
• The Chavs and lack of Cinema
• Old people who drive those stupid little cars on the pavement and fall aslepp and run you over. and why do they all have little yapping dogs?
• THEIR IS NO SKATE PARK!!!!! if you live in worthing and would like a skate park. please email me at ellis@the-fold or rob@the-fold please do this now!!!!
• Battling with the oldies ... who said the youngsters of today are rude, pig ignorant and an insult to society ... some of the crinklies can certainly go the distance, particularly behind the wheel of a car.
• Hardly anything to do, and it's not very safe
• There really is nothing to come to this town for it is dull, full of miserable OAP's and gangs of teenage lads looking to make trouble. Oh, and the groups of drunks and beggars that turned up when they were kicked out of a nearby town. Worst of all is the inept town council who couldn't arrange the proverbial piss up in a brewery.
• Old biddys who have made it their lives mission to eradicate young people from worthing, by making it impossible for them to do ANYTHING.
• the sentinel in the local paper - what a cunt
• Wide-boy idiot drunk young men looking for a fight - saying that the girls are pretty tough too. Avoid Saturdays and you're sorted.
• excuse me since when have i been on wildlife on one?! and why me helen and kate?!!??! a confused naomi
• It's bloody windy here! Bring your warmest jacket in the winter!
• the worthing scum, actually not too bad in comparison to other places ive lived but the teville gate boys are as pony as they come and the ralph lauren button down brigade are as tedious as the UK regulation production line issue. lots of frigid middle aged/old aged people cultivating their predjudices other than that....!
• The Police Force (not a good record), Townies (always starting fights) and Durrington.
• @Super pubs' and the councillors who blame vandalism and crime on the late night takeaways! Did I miss something here. Worthing on the whole is bland, it's the individulas who make it interesting to live here (sort of).
• Reading the stuff on these pages nearly 10 years on and realising that nothing has changed. Is there a high level of depression in this town I ask myself?
• average age of residents in goring - 65-75 average age of people you will see in local clubs - 12-15 getting woken up by hungry and feisty seagulls at five in the morning
• The National Front had its HQ in Worthing 1986-93 and smothered the place with racist graffiti, embarrassed locals, and made tourists not want to hoilday here! They got 893 (1.6% - highest sussex vote) in 1979 and the British National Party have recently set up a Worthing Branch. Drive them out!!!!
• Worthing is choc-a-block with old crusties. There should be a law to stop people moving here after they have retired(a bit like the immigration laws) They prevent cycle lanes being developed because they need 20 foot wide pavements to walk on.
• The signs leading into Worthing.
• Develpments of luxury flats.; you never see signs saying 'development of affordable accommodation for hard working people and their families, or those who try hard but cant find work or afford a mortgage''' do you? People who bang on about sex shops and ignore the 'low shelf crap' produced by some tabloids, easily accessible to all. (Hey I'm no prude, but let's get this into perspective) Mini roundabots, currently sprouting everywhere, aprticularly in Wset Worthing/Tarring. Especially those near the VI form college, where accidents happen and sixth formers (om mummys insurance) get away with murder (okay, denting other peoples cars then)... 'Nomadic'recycling boxes and dustbins that have to be retrieved weekly from up the road ( and sometimes never to be found again....) Working mens clubs.. onservatives... The proposed fountain at sea. What about a cycle lane instead??
• The hoards of Ben Sherman shirted, black jeans wearing, earring sporting idiots who try their utmost to make everyone elses life a misery. The nutters who randomly beat up unsuspecting passers-by, supposedly for the fun of it. ha ha.
• Those arsehole bouncers at Rutherfords
• the hideous number of old and grumpy old biddies the lack of an good places for bands to play their gigs...
• knowing that evryone is making stuff about your business up! (sarah Bailey)
• All the pubs shut at closing time....how backward can you get. Nearly every other part of the country you can expaect late licences or 'extras'.
• The few townies who spoil it. Be warned, mainly linger outside McDonalds on Saturdays & wear caps. You have been warned. Also, the promoters in the clubs & bars aren't allways willing to check out new dj talent like myself. expensive to live here.
• Everything!
• All the cheap appartment blocks, The Beach Hotel, Marks and Spencer.
• women in summer
• The council, The teville gate monster, the guildbourne centre !! the councils decisions which are affecting the town badly ! the out of date , slowness of them, the bad millenium celebrations in the town ( despite what the papers say!) The smelly roads. The plan to build another monster on the corner of Steyne gardens, the plans are as about as in keeping with the area as the Guildbourne Centre!!! disgraceful!!! disgusting!!
• The crinklies!
• drunks and DHSS people
• An unfortunately large percentage of the people: cold, unfriendly, bitter, miserable and jealous.
• Ass holes
• Geriatrica and god's waiting room.
• The council parking scheme.
• For anyone who hasn't yet sampled the 'original' odur of Worthing - warning. No matter how much the thought of ice cream and topless women makes you want to visit the beach during the summer - stay away. Just as the weather starts getting good, the sea spews up tons of seaweed onto the beaches. This weed can be smelled from up to 20 miles away. After a couple of weeks of rotting in the sun, the weed attracts swarms of little black flies. The council always try to sort the problem out by scooping it all back into the sea which is stupid as it just washes straight back in The name 'Worthing' actually means 'rotting weed' so it must have been happening for many many years. You have been warned - go somewhere nicer - Sellafield maybe.
• Seaweed!
• The Costa-Geriatrica. Head for the bright lights of Brighton?
• The worst thing about Worthing is the crap bus service - they stop running really early and the prices are extortionate. OK, maybe it's not the worst thing but until I get a car it will continue to wind me up!
• Old people everywhere. The Dome Cinema is falling apart and no one cares. IT IS A PIECE OF HISTORY. HELP SAVE THE DOME!
• Findon Valley: A small suburb full of old people. The last pub was knocked down to build, yes, retirement flats. Therefore more old people.
• Car parking is about 70 - 80p per hour.
• Pier is uneventful compared to Brighton.
• Currently the Bottle-neck of the A27 (ie no by-pass) 4 mile tail backs west-bound at peak times.
• Only insignificant parts of the shopping centre undercover.
• The Dome is a non-functioning museum piece, knock it down and build a real cinema with effective heating.
• The Teville Gate Park and Ride multi-storey attracts joyriders like extroverts to karaoke.
• Fascist, bastard arrogant self centerd egotistical shit eating TRAFFIC WARDENS... there: I feel much better now.
• A lot of Worthing is just God's waiting room but it can be fun.
• Sad Boy-Racers at Teville Gate with crap 1100cc cars with neon ariels and crap boot-spoilers. 'NUF SAID
• Getting run down by wrinklies in their electric carts. The fact that they stopped the cycle lane on the promenade (because the wrinklies complained) and now nick you for cycling there.

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Last updated: 2012-02-28